Mick D's

I find it worthy of my time to comment on the place I'm at in life. Metaphorically, that is. Locationally I'm at a table in McDonald's, regretting eating a double cheeseburger since it pushed me to the edge of today's calorie limit, and its hardly past noon. In life, I'm soon to be 23 years old with a bachelors degree and a part time job at Walgreen's, though part time has thankfully meant 40 hours a week lately. I'm loosing weight, as I'm sure you guessed from my dietary comment earlier, training in mixed martial arts, living in a sweet house with some great, if not insane, roommates, and am pretty content with the social life I have. However, this is not where I imagined I'd be after 16 some (if you count the four I spent homeschooling) years of academic study.

My biggest problem with working retail is that it allows little time to stop on the job for introspection, and I have to act nice when customers decide that displaying the emotional maturity of a toddler is appropriate. I would much rather be working in a field I studied at the collegiate level; communications or ministry. But reality and the ideal rarely intersect, and if they do I imagine it would either be lovely or boring. I'll let you know which if ever I find myself in such circumstances. All that is to say; I am thankfull for where I'm at, and especially the work I've been getting. But it's a not where I've thought I'd be at this age.

It is frustrating that I endured Junior high, which was the worst two years of my life, four years of high school, and worked (not suffered) through undergraduate school for this. Now, my growth in maturity and social abilities have been substantial, especially during college. But what good does that do me right now? I am well aware of the mindsets which usually great this question, and find them of little worth. To think of where I'm at as a waiting room truly robs today of it's value. To say that I'm not looking hard enough insults me, and if the audacious among you would suggest something along the lines of my hubris showing or that I need to be thankful for where I'm at, start paying attention.

I can't get it out of my head that I have always been meant for something more (not other) than what I am doing. Now that I am done learning in the classroom, at least for now, I ask; what could be done differently to ignite the telos in me waiting to burn? I would not be surprised if this whole time something has been in the works that I've missed, I hope that's the case anyway. But it becomes hard to not be flustered in fear of this time being wasted. All the same, I write this because I am confident that I've many peers standing where I do. A good number of folks my age are probably fine working a job so they can fulfill their purpose outside of the workplace, but I am forced to admit I am not one of them. I do have the advantage of believing in a deity, and a kind one at that. I cling to the hope that this God is working something in me that will soon make itself known, but I will have to wait and see if this hope has been misplaced.